Chris Crocker dressed in drag.
Chris Crocker as a man.
Some people just should not make music. Chris Crocker is really one of those people, along side the train-wrecks that are Justin Bieber, Rebecca Black, Carly Rea Jepsen, and Hedi Montag. Most of Crockers YouTube videos are of him complaining about something (most famously, the “Leave Britney Alone” video.), so now it’s my turn to complain about him. His tune, “Second to None” came up on my Pandora the other day. Crocker was going crazy ranting about his ex boyfriends new boyfriend. Hold the gayness, chief. Let’s bring it down a bit. At first, I tried desperately to picture this song being about a girl, then I prayed for it to be about a girl, then, at the bridge, a flow of gay pride slapped me in the face.
Don’t get me wrong, I support the gays as much as the next liberal artistic northerner, but his music doesn’t have to blatently point out that he is very gay. As goes for any homosexual in music. It is an art. It’s not satire. When anyone takes music for less than it is, most actual artists get frustrated. Furthermore, any song that talks about a shlong and is sung by a male, is surely compensating for something. Crocker, I don’t need or want to hear about your you-know-what in your songs, not does anybody else. It would mean so much to me if someone out there could wipe out Chris Crocker’s music from the internet, any physical copies, and also all future copies that might wind up invading the eardrums of all innocent bystanders.
Listen, I don’t care if you’re gay, straight, purple, blue, or an alien, but I don’t want to hear about your anatomy or your exploits. I don’t like it when rappers do it, so I don’t like it when annoying YouTubers do it. This guy’s music is crap. It doesn’t matter what kind of sexuality, race, or creed he is. Crap music is crap music. No matter who makes it.
This may be a somewhat shallow review, but that is because a review, it is not. A rant, on the other hand, it is. I may be cynical, but I’m sure I’m not the only one that feels this way, but all can freely disagree.
We can pick on Brittney as much as we want, but leave music aloooone.